by Brittany S.
My first year of sobriety was worse than I had imagined it being.
Although I was secretly resisting any lasting change, I also allowed myself to entertain the crazy notion that I just might be able to live my life as a sober human being.
A battle raged within me with every tiny change that I made, in every area of my life. I so badly wanted to go the ‘next right thing’ I kept hearing about, but my mind, body, and heart seemed to all be working against each other. It wasn’t until after I shed my preconceived notions of who could be—and what I am capable of—that I decided to get my first tattoo that represented my recovery journey. I chose a scriptural reference, from Paul's letter to the Romans (7:18). Today it still reminds me of who I used to be, and I am happy I took advantage of the opportunity to choose change.
My second recovery tattoo is new. It represents one of the biggest gifts that I have found through my sobriety.
The roots of the tree represent where I came from and where I am rooted now. I have been gifted the freedom to change my story despite being born into addiction and dysfunction, and battling through my own drug addiction. My identity isn't grounded in the stigma and how it would like to define who I am.
The bird represents freedom—I am free to build new things, free to embrace, and free to discover. No longer do I live believing that I am destined to be constrained—either by the extenuating circumstances that were beyond my control, or through my own unhealthy choices.
I am deeply grateful to be here. I enjoy life.
Brittany is a happy wife, married to the crazy man who has been by her side even before all of her figurative unpacking took place. Together they have three boys. When she isn’t hanging with her men, or convincing at least one of them not to reference balls at the dinner table, she is probably reading, writing, or working on her book that she hopes to publish next year commemorating her 10th soberversary. Check out her blog at DiscoveringBeautiful.com